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The Self-Love Connection: A Look into the Role of Self-Care in Neurology
In my practice, I always like to tell my patients, “If giving yourself grace is a challenge when managing pain symptoms, imagine you are advising those you love most. Would you encourage them? Would you speak positivity into their experience?” That is a clue into how you should talk to yourself.
Too often, when we find ourselves facing health challenges, whether in the form of a disappointing diagnosis, the inability to stick to a New Year’s resolution, or navigating aging, we get hard on ourselves. We often put ourselves down. The grace we would normally extend to others suddenly vanishes for ourselves.
Recent findings now reveal that self-perception, self-talk, and self-care have a greater impact on our neurological health and well-being than previously considered.
In 2019, a study in the Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease found that people who practiced self-compassion showed significantly better cognitive function and lower rates of cognitive decline compared to those who were highly self-critical.The researchers discovered that chronic self-criticism triggers the same stress response in your brain as external threats, flooding the system with cortisol, which, over time, damages the hippocampus (the brain’s memory center).
Think about that. Being hard on yourself doesn’t just make you feel worse; it can trigger a negative cascade of events that works actively against your recovery.
Defining Self-Love
When most think of self-love, bubble baths and spa days come to mind. And while those are nice, the true definition of self-love is treating yourself with the same kindness, patience, and compassion you’d offer to a loved one facing similar challenges.
Think about it. If your best friend had just been diagnosed with a chronic condition, would you tell them to “just push through it”? Would you expect them to keep the same schedule they had before? Would you criticize their body for not working the way it used to?
Of course not. You’d encourage them to rest when needed. You’d celebrate their small victories. You’d remind them they’re doing their best under difficult circumstances.
Practicing Self-Love after a Diagnosis
Post-diagnosis is often one of the most challenging times for an individual to navigate emotionally. Feelings of loss, self-doubt, shame, or even numbness may arise when being confronted with a changing reality. However, this is precisely the time when self-compassion and self-care are of utmost importance.
And for neurological patients, this can play a monumental role in symptom management and recovery:
In Parkinson’s Disease: Self-compassion reduces the severity of depression and anxiety, which affects up to 50% of Parkinson’s patients. When one is kinder to oneself about movement challenges, it can significantly reduce the emotional burden that can worsen physical symptoms. And when you emotionally feel better, you will then physically feel better.
In stroke recovery: A 2021 study found that stroke survivors who practiced self-compassion showed better adherence to rehabilitation programs and achieved greater functional recovery. The difference? Those patients accepted challenges with patience rather than internalizing them as personal failures.
In chronic pain: Research consistently shows that self-compassion reduces pain intensity and improves quality of life. When one stops fighting the body and instead works with it, pain becomes more manageable. You can change “suffering” back to just “pain”, and that is something that is much more manageable.
In dementia and memory loss: For those experiencing cognitive changes, self-compassion reduces the stress that can accelerate decline. Accepting assistance and care significantly reduces feelings of frustration and helplessness.
Your Body is Listening
One of my patients, after struggling with post-stroke depression, started a simple practice. Every morning, she’d thank her body for what it was doing right then.
Not for what it used to do. For what it was doing now.
“Thank you, legs, for holding me up today. Thank you, arm, for trying so hard in therapy. Thank you, brain, for finding new ways to work.”
The change was profound. Her mood improved. Her rehabilitation progressed more smoothly. She stopped seeing herself as broken and started seeing herself as someone navigating a difficult journey with courage.
5 Practical Ways to Practice Self-Love
1. Speak to Yourself Differently
Pay attention to your internal dialogue. When you make a mistake or face a setback, what do you say to yourself?
Instead of: “I’m so weak, I’ll never be able to exercise like I used to.”
Try: “Right now, my body is healing and getting stronger with every movement.”
“Getting off the couch is so much better than just sitting. Good job!”
2. Respect Your Body’s Signals
Your body communicates through fatigue, pain, hunger, and discomfort. These aren’t inconveniences to power through — they’re information. If you’re exhausted, rest isn’t lazy. It’s necessary. If you’re in pain, modifying activities isn’t giving up. It’s being strategic. If you need to cancel plans because you’re not feeling well, that’s not a sign of weakness. It’s wisdom.
Many of my patients have learned the hard way that ignoring their body’s signals leads to flare-ups, falls, and setbacks. Self-love means listening and responding with care.
3. Set Boundaries for Better Outcomes
Being unable to show up for everything and everyone when you are in a compromised state isn’t a state of weakness; it is a natural limitation. For many of my patients, pushing forward to avoid disappointing others is a normal inclination. However, the results are often self-sacrificing. Boundaries, in many cases, are the healthiest way to show love and compassion to yourself and those around you. After all, when you feel your best, everyone around you benefits.
Every day I tell my patients, “Repeat after me….I would love to do that, but Dr. Kandel says I can’t.” That is the easiest out you will ever have. I am the bad guy. So use that statement!
4. Celebrate Small Victories
Living with a neurological condition means every day brings challenges that others might not understand. Getting out of bed despite the pain, completing physical therapy despite its challenges, or managing medications and appointments while trying to maintain quality of life.
Remember that these aren’t minor accomplishments, but they are acts of strength.
Whether you write them down or share them with a loved one, taking a moment to realize your progress can be meaningful.
5. Remember, You Are More Than Your Diagnosis
It’s not unusual that living with a neurological condition may start to overshadow other aspects of an individual’s life. Slowly, once-beloved activities may fall to the wayside, and conversations may center on this new condition and life change.
However, taking a moment to remember who you are as a whole person outside of the diagnosis may be the self-compassion needed to spark motivation and internal care throughout the journey.
A Message From Dr. Kandel
“We have all heard that every journey starts with a single step. Well, take each day one day at a time. And practice positive self-talk. You must learn that the brain does not believe what is true; it believes what it hears over and over. So if you tell yourself that you have failed, your brain believes that. However, if you tell yourself that you are winning and making progress, the brain believes that. You get to choose what your brain believes…. Choose wisely!”
Joseph Kandel, MD
Feel free to share this with the people in your life who may benefit from this information! For more insights on neurology, check out our weekly tips on our Neurology Office Facebook page.
“To Cure Sometimes, To Heal Often, To Comfort Always”
Neurology Office, Joseph Kandel M.D. and Associates
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